This concept is taken from my dear friend Runcils blog - Goodbye. I am really thankful to him for letting me redo his post in the way i wanted to..
“I want a breakup..” I read the sms on my cell and went to sleep again.. I mean c’mon yaar!! What is anyone expected to do if they get a sms at 3 am ???
yeah this sms was serious I know… that’s why when I woke up at 11 in the morning 1st thing I did after having a bath and tasting 3 chapattis with jam and milk, is I called her…
“WhatTheFuck you think of urself!! Is this the time to call???”
“huh?
“fuck u … I wanna meet u as soon as possible”
“but I thought u wanna breakup??”
“I do, you jerk!.. and thats why I wanna meet you”
“huh? …”
"It's not working, Charlie," she said, in a serious tone, "you know it too."
"There's nothing that can't be repaired, Cecilia," I protested, "there's still time. We can convince your parents." I said applying jam onto another chapatti
“oh shutup !! keep your stories to urself… its just not helping !! I wanna see u in the cemetery at 2.. I thought we could meet in the morning ... but u just keep eating your jam-bread” ….
“chapatti!!…. Jam-chapatti” I corrected
“fuck u” came the reply! As she disconnected
……… beep.. beep…
Now the very idea of meeting in the cemetery is scary … just imagine… in front of thousand graves, gravestones and dead people under them, today I was going to beakup with my girlfriend… hmmmm ok its not for the faint hearted... young children and senior citizens please switch to reading other blogs!
Kuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnkkkkkkk---krrrrrrrr----kuuuunnnnk !! The cemetery gate opened … making this typical haunted noise… I looked around if I could spot any ghosts or cecilia who looked like them … may be I could convince her from outside the gate ...but then Runcil had positioned her at the end of the cemetery.. so lets go there!!
The cemetery was silent - the kind of silence that glides over your skin and pierces you, making you want to break its steely grasp - a silence to be afraid of; the silence before the storm. I somehow managed to walk the distance … I was just hoping no one comes and touches me from behind,.. Id die on the spot … my heart was beating fast .. I just wanted to get out of this spooky place…
Cecilia was sitting on a bench, rather uneasily, waiting for me, when I reached the place. She had decided that we would meet here for the last time. I still couldn't understand. A cemetery? I mean what happened to all those KFC’s and Poptates where she made me spend like I was a millionaire!!
The breeze blew the leaves that crowded my path marking for me a clear road to Cecilia. I walked with fast steps towards her. She stood up, while I hurried to tell her to continue sitting (fearing she might slap me 1st only). "No need," she replied in a cold tone, "we came in through this end of the cemetery, we can walk to the other end. And talk too."
She wore a black mini with a white top. Contrasting colors - and I guess even more ironic for the occasion although it suited the location. The usual kohl under her eyes was missing today. Her long flowing hair was restricted to a bun. Somehow id started feeling it was my funeral!
We walked with slow, perhaps unsteady steps. There were thousands of gravestones around us. Some were sparkling white, few were freshly dug and the soil was uneven. Most were greying due to neglect. Some of the crosses had fallen apart, the angel's wings had come off. These untouched graves provided the famished atmosphere for us to talk in.
"So, should we get on with our talk?" I asked, knowing anyway what was to come.
"It's all over, Charlie," she said, looking away from me
"don’t say that yaar.. we can still convince your parents… I’ll talk to them"
"You say this after knowing my parents. I don't know if that's arrogance or ignorance."
" It's just plain hope."
"Or living in denial," she retorted. “you know how much they hate you”
“oh for god sake Cecilia! You getting pregnant was not only my fault ok…you also….”
“jude was always cautious”
“what the fuck!!”
“i.. I mea.. I mean… my parents will not approve for us Charlie … they want me to marry jude..”
That swift tongue!
We continued walking. I saw a gravestone that bore the deathdate April 7, 1985 - my birthdate.
"So, you want me to forget you? Just like that? After all this time?" I asked. I was on the verge of pouring all my anger on her.
"See Charlie," she said hesitatingly, "I know it's difficult, but..."
I stood rooted to where I was, ""Difficult? It's not only difficult. You think it's very easy to forget that we went around, kissed, shared the same bed, sometimes at your place and sometimes at mine…sometimes at some NRI friends place of yours… so many beds we shared ! It may be easy for you, but not for me."
I was shouting now and my voice echoed because of the stillness around. A few mourners at a nearby grave had stopped the rosary and were looking at us. 'Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.'
Cecilia shrieked, "Don't you raise your voice at me, Charlie. Its soo embarrassing talking about how many beds we shared… these mourners will think we are getting horny in the cemetery”
"You've given me reason to do so. Cant you just understand I love you and wanna be with you??”
She stayed quiet. I became aware of the breeze blowing the weightless, dead leave around. I heard the whispers of the mourners praying again. Some still looking at us suspiciously as if they had caught us makingout..I heard myself breathing heavily. I heard sniffles of despair.
She looked at me, straight into my eyes, perhaps for the first time that day.
"I know what I am doing to you is unfair, but life is unfair. It has been unfair to me too. You don't have to listen to the abuse I receive everyday, you don't have to feel the pain I feel everyday. It's the cycle of life Charlie, we just pass on the unfairness that we have received to someone else. And in time everything gets alright. You too will be fine, Charlie… probably after you pass this unfairness to someone else”
"But," I protested, "the love we shared was..." I was at a loss for words. …Was our love sexy? .. pleasurable?? I was even beginning to doubt whether it was love.
"The love we shared," she whispered, "was good while it lasted. It's over from my side now. I think you should get on too. There's a time and season for everything, right? You used to sing that. Our's has just passed."
We had not moved since we had last stopped. Cecilia felt her phone vibrating in the pocket and answered it…at once I realized I should too put my phone on the silent mode.. after all it does not look good to have a muni badnaam hui ringtone in the cemetery na??
"I'm going back from here. I have to meet Jude…..Take care of yourself. I'll meet you perhaps to give you the invitation card. I'm sad we couldn't finish our little walk"
“but what about this little talk??”
I looked at her. She was looking in the other direction. Her voice was shaking. Why couldn't she say it looking at me?
"Goodbye Charlie."
"Wait Cecilia," I quivered. Trying to strengthen my voice, I said, "I want one question answered."
"Okay, just one question. What is it?" she asked impatiently, still not looking at me.
"Why here? Why the cemetery?"
The still air blew furiously now. The leaves flew around, some into our faces.
Cecilia turned around, and for the last time faced me. Her eyes were red.
"because Jude’s place is nearby”
And then she turned around and walked away, never to return again.
The mourners were at the end of their rosary, signing themselves.
