GETTING INVISIBLE FOR AN INTERVIEW!

Dickson Miranda had officially completed his hardware and networking course from a well known institute and was sent by his placement department to XYZ Company for an interview! …so there I was! I reached the Company to see how his interview goes! hmmm well it was not difficult to find him in the crowd... He’s hair completely drenched in oil would be combed sideways, left partition to be precise, as often he would be wearing a self colored shirt buttoned to the top with a matching tie, two pens, black and blue… in his shirt pocket, big round spectacles above his nose… and his nose always pointing in the direction where the girls were. (Yeah his nose is like this mini gps) Oh! There he was!!! Sitting amongst the candidates and checking out the receptionist from the corner of his eyes. Hmmm now talking about the receptionist… ah… she was not bad at all … Tall, well tanned, nice and curvy, long hair till her shoulders, sleeveless blue top that looked just perfect, black skirt, long legs…wow! … I mean if you didn’t notice a girl like her, you really would be a …. “DICK! …You may go in” my thoughts were interrupted by someone…. Shit did he hear me? … Actually he was just asking our friend Dickson to get in the cabin for the interview!... uff!.. Sometimes I really think people can read my mind!...sigh!! Anyways a nervous Dickson and an invisible me started approaching the cabin for our interview, rather his interview….

On our way Dickson decided to enlighten the gentleman who called out to him saying, “its DickSON… not dick” … the man gave him a ‘do-I-look-like-I-care?’ Look and continued with his work…

Knock knock!

Come in said a female voice… dick and I entered… and I fainted instantly…

In front of me was the hottest female I had ever seen …10 times hotter than the receptionist!! Oh! Holy lord! ... the name of this company should have been XXX instead of XYZ!! It’s a treat to work here! … Still mesmerized I did enough to stand myself on my feet.. you see this is a big advantage of being invisible, you can check out the hottest chick and faint anywhere in the world without getting noticed!

"My name is Liza, i will be conducting this interview" she said reaching out her hand towards Dickson...
nervous dickson (more nervous after seeing her) ... holds her hand and and says hi...

liza: (pulling her hand away) "may i see your resume ?"

dick: " sure"

liza: "well someone is looking nervous so whats your name?" ..(pointing towards the chair asking him to sit)

dick: "my name is Dickson Miranda. (goes for the impression) and ofcourse...someone is looking very preety "

liza: "..hehe.. you could have said that with a little more conviction"

dick:"well... my name is Dickson Miranda "

liza".. anyways! " (goes through the resume)

liza: "so what do you know about XYZ?"

dick: "its a nice company.."

liza" ..and?"

dick: "ah.. and.. ahh"

liza: " so why did you apply here?.. i mean why not anywhere else.."

dick: "I was going to try in HP.. but my placement officer said.... thats not your cup of tea... go to XYZ.. whaan toh tuje mil hi jaayega "

liza:" sigh! ...what do you know about DHCP?"

dick: "DHCP... it is Dynamic Host Configurattion Protocol"

liza:"and what is Dynamic Host Configurattion Protocol??"

dick: "it is DHCP... ah.. it is used in networking"

liza: "how?"

dick: "i think it is used to make DHCP server"

liza: ""

liza: "what is Class A IP? "

dick: "hmm the range of IP's that belong to Class A"

liza: ""

liza: "what steps will you carry out if you find out one day, that your desktop is not starting? "

dick: "call my engineer"

liza:".. but what will you do to troubleshoot? "

dick: "i will call my engineer... he will troubleshoot "

liza: ""

me: ""

dick ""

liza:"so why do you think we should hire you? "

dick: "i am very hardworking and i know my job well"

liza: ""

me: ""

dick: ""

liza: "well Dick..son ... let me see.. illl speak to your placement officer and call you if your selected "

me: ""

dick: " ah.. well u can tell me.. ill tell my placemnet officer!"

liza: "no no, we will call you... as for now thank you, you can go "

after sometime:

(on the phone)

dick: "yes sir, they said they will call me ... no no nothing they asked... only DHCP and Class A IP... ek aur question pucha ta.. I forgot... huh? yes yes.. i knew the answers!...she said she'll call you first..yes! ok sir.. yes! bye"

after some days

(in classes)

placement officer: "arey W!((!@M ...there are vacancies in two places... XYZ and PQR why dont you try?"

me: " why not sir, ill go to XYZ tomorrow only "

officer: "hmm Dickson had gone there .. he said they asked him DHCP and...ah."

me: "Class A IP?"

office: "haan...how did you know? "

me: "..ah.. i met him.."

officer: "ok, but XYZ is offering less salary huh! compared to PQR... try PQR na?"

me: "ah.. no sir.. XYZ is offering.....i mean .. i'll would like to try there first!"

next day

(at the XYZ reception)

some old man is at the reception...

me: "excuse me.. i've come for an interview... that female who used to be here...."

man: "accha! she's on leave... her father expired... why dont you have a sit?... ill call you"

me""

knock knock]

Come in said a thick male voice… I entered… and almost fainted instantly…

me: "Miss Liza? "

man: "Mrs. Liza, she's my wife ... currently out of town... I am Steve and i will be conducting today's interview "

me: ""

I could not let my luck screw my happiness anymore.. so before he asked anything I said..

"sir, i know everything about DHCP and Class A IP "

Steve: "ah... i am sure you do... so tell me something about VPN "

me: ""

@nyth^ng

Hmmm I am seeing this page [site] after quite a while now… and trust me the last couple of times I’ve seen it, I’ve ended up writing nonsense! Hmm no big plans... but today I am pretty much heading to doing the same! As a matter of fact the last time I seen this page, there were a couple of followers more, who I think by now are convinced I write nonsense and have vanished...~hehehe~ hmm anyways … that’s not why I am writing this post… Hmmm actually ~:P~ ‘why I am writing this post’ is a question that I also don’t have an answer to at this point of time… but lets see... Something will come up as I continue typing…

1. I was just taking a look at my sept-oct “Blog Archive” and except for a couple of them I hate all the other posts, cant believe I did them :-) oh yeah it wasn’t me btw…I think someone is accessing my account without my knowledge … someone who is a lie and a stranger I my life, nobody knows about him/her… uff!! may be Julie and I will figure out our strangers soon (ref: to her fb status)~lol ~ yeah but this has happened to me lots of times… sometimes when I read my old posts… I stop liking them as much as I did when I wrote them…~lol~ …may be they were always bad… m just finding out later ~:P~

2. I’ve been completely hypnotized by the new templates people have applied to their blogs… they all look so cool and tempting… I tried applying them to my blog too… but none of them meet my needs ~sad look~ some have the sidebar on the right, some don’t allow widgets (not as many as I have), some don’t have the ‘followers’ section and the rest are dark colors! It’s high time I create my own template I guess!!!!! ~confident look, with the fire of determination in my eyes~ …or may be I should just stick to this one ~:P~

3. Yesterday after a looong time… I was glad to see our Indian cricket team perform to their potential …. I had almost started to hate harbhajan singh for his consistent miserable performance, I guess he needs a break but the sad part is we don’t have another spinner who cant replace him (replace his skills I mean, not his miserable performances) although jadeja impresses me every time he bowls, finally its nice to see yuvi back in the side and dhoni hit those flat sixes! I am really looking forward to see India beating the hell out of Australia in the remaining matches…c’mon yaar that much atleast they can do only…given that they are playing at home against an inexperienced Australian side.

4. I am busy promoting my business these days…yeah now that my exams are over and my certificate will take 15 days to come, I have time for it finally…we have started something called Tech Support… It’s the same thing that I’ve been doing from the past 1 year along with my friends... just that we’ve given it a name now. We have tried to come out with different schemes by which we can provide complete hardware and networking solutions to our clients. We also do laptop repairs now and have come up with various annual maintenance contract plans for desktops and laptops … after putting up multiple adds on orkut… we have decided to put handbills in news papers! …yeah it sounds cool and all that ... but we’ve been sweating it out for the past one week, finding out how the handbill should look, which place will print them for cheap and which r the newspaperwalas who deliver newspapers at homes and will help us :-) I am really excited about this … hope nothing goes wrong!

5. Certain section of people I know are lately either falling in love or breaking up with their bfs/gfs … yeah they are using all their creativity in doing that only! … whenever I meet them, they let me go home only when they have completely told me about everything that is bothering them… no no… they aren’t looking for any advice or something they wouldn’t be telling me all that if they needed advice, its just that they want someone to listen and I am the bakkra every time! I mean c’mon yaar what have I got to do with: - why she is not picking up your call… why he keeps messaging you all the time… how she came to know that you love her and moreover why is he soo touchy!! ~lol~ ok I am not going ahead on this... cz fortunately or unfortunately that certain section of people I know, read this page often and I don’t want to get beaten up… ~big smile~ (plz don’t send me threatening msgs)

6. I brought a second hand comp at home…taking the tally (no of comps at home) to two, I really like to see both of them switched on together :-) the feeling is completely heavenly! But it wasn’t easy! When I got it home 1^st, I got mixed reactions! My mom literally fainted thinking about the forthcoming bill but my bro was overjoyed to see it thinking about the various games we could play on LAN. So after formatting it totally and installing a fresh copy of Win XP… we installed all the possible games we had on it... but as we all know fortune favors the mom … the monitor is giving trouble now… that menu option on it does not disappear …. So until that is fixed, I don’t think LAN is possible…

7. I haven’t partied for a while and I am feeling the pinch now!… I so wanna go out with friends and have a blast… but most of them are employed and their bosses are turning them into boring people by loading them with lots of work! I think the last time I had a blast was on H.A’s birthday on the 19th in malad? Yeah … we met on 19^th after like a month… the beers tasted like ‘gangajal’ and the food tasted more delicious than before!! ~ lol ~ J.M ordered a unique dish called apple chicken (which had no apple in it) .. but the chicken was awesome! Just 10 days have passed and I am already dreaming about apple chicken again… after all our best friend J.M is the sponsor for the next apple chicken we are going to feast upon~;-)~

8. I wanna get back to reading now.. ah.. I mean reading non-networking stuff, I have two very interesting books:- ‘P.S I love you’ and the kite runner’ with me and I plan to start with kite runner … many of my friends (who read) have read both the books and cant really stop raving about both of them! Then there are two more books I wanna read… I wanna read ‘the great Indian love story’ by Ira Trivedi and ‘two states’ by Chetan Bhagat. I normally don’t complete a book very fast … but I hope the curiosity helps me speed up!

9. I kinda miss playing basketball … its been more than two months since I’ve touched the ball … there were times in Wilson! .. When we used to play the whole day … we used to carry extra T-shirts in the bag instead of books … no sooner we used to enter the gate… we used to turn right and head straight to the court! … I really miss all those days! …all those people who used to play along with me! … it was so much fun … we never stopped even in the rains … there was nothing that could move us from that court!...[ok the black list would … but not for more than a week]~lol~ even today when I pass by colg (court).. I can see myself playing…with all those basketball-freaks like me.

10. Bloging after so long feels nice… moreover making a post without a topic feels better … I think I needed this long break … I was getting monotonous… hopefully that bad phase has passed by … and ill be able to do variety of nonsense posts again!

my mantra

10 things I've learnt from life... and i feel are true :-


10. A jack of all trades, in the right place at the right time is more dangerous than the master of one!

9. Envy burns the heart that carries it thousand times more than, the heart that it is carried for

8. If you have something to say; say it now! (there is always a polite way to do so)

7. Being a good listener is better than being a great speaker

6. Today is the Tomorrow, we were thinking about Yesterday

5. Time enjoyed is not time wasted… in fact time not enjoyed is time wasted

4. Failure makes you a failure till you succeed; the fear for failure makes you a failure forever

3. Its not HOW u do, what u do... it’s WHAT u do that matters

2. Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

1. If you’re happy and you know it… think again!!

guilty or innocent

I got this from one of my friend’s blog! and I am going to try it out now!! ::big smile::

I am not tagging anyone this time, or lincy will say, “he never tags me!!!” ;)
Lincy !! but what to do yaa?, you never blog!! hehehehehe
So whoever wants to take up this tag, go ahead.

* Asked someone to marry you?
Innocent, not yet!

* Ever kissed someone of the same sex?
Innocent…. ::suspicious look::

* Danced on a table in a bar?
Innocent. Yeah ej! I’ve always wanted to also! ;)

* Ever told a lie?
Guilty... sometimes you have to be diplomatic

* Had feelings for someone whom you can’t have back?
Guilty!! Life is not always nice!

* Kissed a picture?
Guilty!! No! I am not taking any names!!

* Slept in until 5 PM?
Innocent.! Now that’s a record… but yeah I am innocent!

* Fallen asleep at work/school?
Guilty.!! But not many times… I keep my self busy eating or listening to radio

* Held a snake?
Innocent !! trust me, that’s the last think I would want to do!

* Been suspended from school?
Innocent.!! I was never so bad! Although people keep wondering how I never got suspended (see that’s where being diplomatic helps :::another big smile::)

* Worked at a fast food restaurant?
Innocent… it’s not like I mind or something… but it never happened!

* Stolen from a store?
Guilty… and that’s about it!

* Been fired from a job?
Innocent… as of now I am self employed! Why would I do that? ..hmm actually how would I do that?? ..hmm… ::ponders::

* Done something you regret?
Guilty… yes a few things … but I’ve learnt to move on! I don’t crib about them anymore … yeah but if I could… I would have loved to better them

* Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose?
Guilty…

* Caught a snowflake on your tongue?
Innocent … when we went to Kashmir it wasn’t snowing! :: sad:: …I wanna go there again!!!!

* Kissed in the rain?
Innocent…. Waiting for that day ::bigger smile::

* Sat on a roof top?
Guilty…we did lot more on the roof… ::sigh::

* Kissed someone you shouldn’t?
Innocent… you see I’ve not kissed too many people in my life!!!

* Sang in the shower?
Guilty…. Always!!!

* Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on?
Guilty!! But I took my revenge and pulled them in with me ::evil grin::

* Shaved your head?
Innocent! …

* Had a boxing membership?
Innocent… I believe in non violence. I am quite a chicken anyways!

* Made a girlfriend cry?
Guilty… I donno why girls always cry!… hmmmm ::still pondering::

* Been in a band?
Innocent… you need someone who knows to hold the guitar???

* Shot a gun?
Guilty…. But nothing other than those diwali crackers!! Non violence!! Remember?

* Donated Blood?
Guilty… very rarely though …

* Eaten alligator meat?
Innocent… see I am quite happy eating chicken!!

* Eaten cheesecake?
Guilty…I can have them all day

* Still love someone you shouldn’t?
Guilty!

* Have/had a tattoo?
Innocent… heard they are painful … that’s why I hate them!

* Liked someone, but will never tell who?
Guilty!! …. Ok this is the 3rd similar Question!! And I don’t see how its gonna enrich anyone’s life!

* Been too honest?
Guilty… now for people who fell down reading this! … yeah I am honest

* Ruined a surprise?
Guilty!!.. Too many times!!

* Ate in a restaurant and got really bloated that you couldn’t walk afterwards?
Guilty… that happens more than often!

* Erased someone in your friends list?
Guilty… I don’t regret it!

* Dressed in a woman’s clothes (if you’re a guy) or man’s clothes (if you’re a girl)?
Innocent! Just grew my hair long… I don’t think that counts!

* Joined a pageant?
Innocent ... huh ?

* Been told that you’re handsome or beautiful by someone who totally meant what they said?
Guilty... ::blusehs:: not too many! But yes few (now stop wondering if they were blind; will you???? ::angry look::)

* Had communication with your ex?
Guilty… I am matured enough for that…

* Got totally drunk on the night before exam?
Innocent…. Believe me!!

* Got totally angry that you cried so hard?
Guilty … too much emotion makes you cry!

Bollywood sUnDaY

Movies!!!!!!!!

I spent my entire Sunday watching movies… yeah I watched 4 movies: (In the same order as stated below)

And let me tell you they don’t make good scripts anymore! … For those of you who say ... “Oh! I knew that!! And by the way it’s your fault; you watched all the wrong movies!” … You may not be completely wrong :-)

Life partner:

The direction totally kills everything in the movie. Rumi Jaffery has absolutely no clue about what he is trying to convey… The weak storyline adds to his nightmare; …too many characters and unconvincing scenes, unwanted / unrelated song sequences break the link between the scenes in the movie. Whenever you think the movie is getting interesting, you’re left disappointed! The movie gets boring after regular intervals and the funny moments (although very few) are quite predictable.

Govinda as often is very impressive in his role. His dialogue delivery and timing is outstanding, however I think his recent decisions of doing films having weak stories like chal chala chal, money hai to honey hai and life partner are questionable.

Fardeen and Tusshar are ok ……Fardeen is better!

Prachi, Genelia and the rest are used as fillers!

Amrita Rao has a special appearance and that’s about her.

Moral of the story: Even if you’re a big Govinda Fan… the movie sucks!

Kaminey:

Honestly speaking I don’t see why so much hype is created about this movie! ...there is nothing in it other than Shahid Kapoor in a dramatic double role, corrupt politicians and policemen running after him and a complete flop gang war at the ending! Too many things are squeezed in the 1^st half to set up the 2^nd and that’s what tends to make the 1^st half a bit confusing. The double role story goes the same old way where the weaker innocent twin is mistaken for his brother and ends up with all the beating.

However in spite of a very miserable script all the characters come up with terrific performances. Shahid’s stammering is amusing, Priyanka looks pretty, Amol gupte as bhope bhau is impressive as well :-). Vishal Bhardwaj has armed the movie with some bold and cool dialogues which I think does the trick for the movie.

All in all it’s an OK film… (For those who have yet not watched it)- if you’re have nothing to do like me, then watching kaminey is not a bad idea… but unlike me don’t look for too much, you’ll be disappointed

Moral of the story: It’s an overrated movie

Luck:

This movie is a complete disaster; disastrous script, disastrous music and disastrous performances from all the actors. If you have not watched the movie, luck is definitely on your side, unfortunately if you have, you’ll agree that there could not have been a bigger disaster you could waste your time and money watching!

The movie is about this manic gangster who hires lucky people, so that he makes a fortune.

The name of Sanjay Dutt’s character Musabhai is taken from his previous flop Plan… where he plays a gangster too. Mithun plays army man jabbar as he did in 1985’s gulami and repeats its famous dialogue “koi shak?” over and over again. Ravi kishan and the chak de girl Chitrashi are basically doing nothing in the movie. Shruti Haasan remains expressionless throughout, Imran and Danny have tried to act.

Rati Agnihotri has signed the movie and has 1 scene.

Oh holy lord! Why am I even discussing this movie!! Let’s get to the moral quickly!

Moral of the story: hmmmmmmmmmmmm……did I say it was a disaster?

Mujhse Shaadi Karogi:

Well I am sure most of you have watched it… I myself have watched it more than a couple of times now… it’s about how Salman manages to marry Priyanka in spite of having evil Akshay around! The movie falls in the same league as David Dhawan's earlier films. The focus is to entertain, not enlighten or educate. Logic takes a backseat and we have two-and-a-half hours of entertainment. Another very common script …nothing new about it, but Akshay Kumar and Salman have given one of their best comedy performances, I like AK’s evil role…I think he suits in it best. Prayinka has done a good job and looks gorgeous. Kader Khan and Amrish Puri have extremely hilarious roles…and Rajpal yadav steals the show with his killer double role performance as an astrologer and gangster. In an exaggerated climax Kapil Dev, Navjot Singh Sidhu and a few other cricketers have tried to say a few dialogues but all of them are equally bad! ..

Moral of the story: this was better than the other 3

Looking forward to watching:

Wanted
Kites
Main Aur Mrs Khanna
My Name Is Khan
Wake Up Sid
3 Idiots
Do Knot Disturb

friends forever

I kinda knew what was coming my way when I entered the café to meet my friend Ryan. It was 6 in the evening and let me tell you the café at this time is often crowded with mostly office crowd. I donno why but it’s often like that, the café owner mints a fortune everyday in the evenings. Ok anyways, now let’s not eye the business of the cafe… let’s get back to the entrance …entrance! Yeah I was there only na... hmm… so I entered and started looking for him … it was slightly easer than climbing Everest but I managed

“Hey!” I exclaimed as I approached his table...

“Hey buddy hi” Ryan said, we shook hands and as I sat down, I noticed Ryan’s face ...he seemed like he had been crying all evening… “It’s all over man! Its all over between me and Sam”, Ryan said with tears in his eyes, sipping his cold coffee. “She dumped me!!!! Can you believe it???? I loved her so much and she did this to me!!!! Now what do I do without her???? Why did this have to happen to me???” he kept asking me between continuous sobs!

She must have found someone better than you I thought, giving myself a satanic smile, but at the same time I was feeling sorry for him …

“Oh common dude! Your smart, good looking, witty you’ll find someone soon” I said sympathetically. “Just chillax ok… and forget about her” I added

“Forget about her!! are u kidding me? I loved her more than my life for gods sake! You don’t think we came this far, for nothing, do you?” he asked me indignantly as I ordered a cold coffee for myself!

Meet my friend Ryan Andrade, we were together in college, played soccer together for the college team, hanged out with a common gang of friends… bunked classes together and watched a lot of movies…had lots of fun at parties and night outs, etc! Even after college our gang often keeps meeting up. So basically we knew almost everything about each other. He’s basically a nice guy, a little emotional types…

Now the Sam he is talking about is Samantha Frank …only daughter of a rich businessman; she worked with Ryan in the same company, they were seeing each other since six months, and recently she had started accompanying him to all the parties and get-togethers… Initially I always thought there was something strange about this Frank chick but I never mentioned it to Ryan … I had nothing against this girl, mind you. I mean she was indeed nice, gentle, caring, someone just right for Ryan…so it didn’t really matter whether I told him what I felt or not! Anyways that’s about their bio-data.

Last night it so happened…One of Ryan’s friends threw the Great Wall of China on Ryan’s head by telling him: - he had seen some guy kissing Sam at a night club two days ago. A disbelieving Ryan went on to ask Sam about it, more than certain that she’d deny and laugh it off, but unfortunately, she admitted to cheating on him. !!! That was it!!! Poor Ryan’s heart broke into thousand pieces and he called me to the café to tell me his sorrowful story!

“Your coffee sir” my coffee had arrived; and that’s when I came back to the present again …only to realize Ryan was still mumbling something, ……“Why me? I mean, we were so good together……., we had such beautiful plans….,” I was seriously getting bored now! “Hey did to see that girl on the counter?” I said pointing out to a beautiful girl in a pretty purple dress … trying to divert his mind. ..

“hmmmmmmm” we both said simultaneously gazing at her. “But how could she do that??” Ryan asked may be still staring at her -I donno if he was looking at her or no. cz I was no longer looking at him… “Well may be no one is taking her order, that’s why she’s gone to the counter herself”… I said hoping that was the right reason..

“oh shit no! I am talking about Sam! How could she do this to me?”

“huh? Who? …oh!! Hmmm… yeah I know…” I muttered, looking him now…

“You know I am certain the new guy is better looking than me and that jerk is definitely after her money” Ryan angrily exclaimed! I was surprised to hear that we were both thinking along the same lines. About the money, that is.

“Come on, yaar! She doesn’t deserve someone like you. She has just proved that. Chalo, lets grab something to eat. Get up!” I urged him. Frankly I was sick of hearing the same old lines for the past one hour.

“No, you carry on. I’m not hungry. I just want to die,” he said, tears welling up in his eyes, again. Then as an afterthought he added, “What would I do without a friend like you? I would have really killed myself if it weren’t for you. Thanx for being there man… I really appreciate this, thanx a lot”

“Now stop with the compliments, I’m not half as nice as you are,” I said distractedly. My cell was buzzing in my pocket. “I’ll be right with you. Just need to get to the window; network issues.”

My cell was flashing a bright blue. I picked it up and whispered, “hi love, I am at the café with Ryan. For the past one and half hour, he’s been getting on my last spare nerve, guessing exactly why you must have cheated on him!”

P.S: All the characters in this are fictitious. Resemblance to any person living or dead is purely coincidental…

inspired from Whiny the Moo's - Tales of a Cheater